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LETTER TO MY YOUNGER SELF: JIVANA HEYMAN

LETTER TO MY YOUNGER SELF: JIVANA HEYMAN

Letter to my younger self: Jivana Heyman

photo: SaritRodgers

PROFILES

BEN CLARK INTERVIEW

If you could write a letter to your younger self what would it say? We asked some amazing people in our community to write letters, and were blown away by the love, compassion and humor they shared. Jivana Heyman shares his letter here.

Dear Jivana,

Sending you love and support for your journey ahead. I know there will be challenging times, but you’ll find your way through. You have more strength than you realize. In fact, your biggest weakness is your self-doubt. The sooner you let it go, the more you’ll enjoy life, and the more service you’ll be able to offer the world. Embrace your queerness as quickly as you can, and as fully as possible. Being queer is a gift, not a curse.

Your youthful idealism is a strength, not a weakness. Keep on imagining a world full of peace and justice, even if they constantly tell you that you’re naive. In the end, the love and care you have for other people and for nature is all that really matters. Love your friends, family, and pets even more, but don’t become too attached at the same time. Nothing is permanent, and many of them will leave you, and many will die. 

Keep practicing yoga and meditation with your full heart, and start teaching as soon as you can. Don’t get stuck in imposter syndrome and wait so long to share the practice you love with your community. It’s a great way to deepen your practice and be of service simultaneously. (In fact, we’re going on 30 years of teaching in 2025!) Teaching yoga is the biggest gift you’ll receive. Appreciate it for what it is, and recognize the awesome power and responsibility that it brings. 

Remember that ethics are the heart of spirituality. They’ll protect you and keep you on the right track. In fact, the yamas, yoga’s ethical principles, are the protection that you need to navigate the challenges that life will continue to throw at you. They are like a shield to help keep you safe when things feel dangerous.

That reminds me–work on your boundaries! They are the key to everything. Love everyone, but don’t fall in love with everyone. Be open and welcoming, but don’t let people trample all over you. In fact, that’s my main message. Find a way to believe in yourself that is stable and grounded. I don’t mean that you should become egotistical; instead, feel your strength in your mind and body, and know that it’s a reflection of your spirit, which is shared with all beings. Allow your strength to be a vehicle for connection with others, rather than separation. 

In general, people are good, but that doesn’t mean you have to listen to them. Instead, listen to that small voice in your heart and don’t ever stop listening. Remember, meditation is the language of that voice, so the more you practice, the easier it will be to understand the messages that are coming from deep within you. Like sonar echoing in the deepest ocean, meditation will help you navigate the dark, treacherous waters of the world. 

You’ve got this!

Love,

Jivana

LETTER TO MY YOUNGER SELF: DIANNE BONDY

LETTER TO MY YOUNGER SELF: DIANNE BONDY

Letter to my younger self: Dianne Bondy

PROFILES

BEN CLARK INTERVIEW

If you could write a letter to your younger self what would it say? We asked these amazing people in our community to write letters, and were blown away by the love, compassion and humor they shared. Dianne Bondy shares her letter here.

Dearest Dianne,

It’s me, your older self. I LOVE YOU. I want to tell you something important. If everything seems overwhelming, I assure you that childhood is just a phase, a small part of your entire existence. I know it’s tough; you might feel small, awkward, and unseen. But your uniqueness is what makes you special. School is temporary, and it’s okay to feel this way. It’s just a tiny part of your journey.

I know no one looks like you at school or in your friend circle, and it makes you feel ugly. But you are not ugly; you are beautiful. Societal beauty standards are ugly. Authenticity is what makes people beautiful.

People will make fun of and underestimate you based on their insecurity. Kids are cruel. I know school is hard. You will learn later in life your grades don’t reflect your intelligence. You are not stupid. You learn differently. You have a learning limitation that is not yet diagnosed or known. You will overcome it. You will learn to manage it. You will teach yourself. The teacher in 12th grade who told you that you were illiterate will eat those words when you write two best-selling books. Yes, you will become a writer and published author. Yes, you, the one with the bad grades. School is a limiting force for you. You need to get through it.

Ignore the bullies. With all its challenges, high school is just a temporary phase in your life. It is meant to teach you important lessons. One of the most important is to choose your friends carefully, observe how people treat you, and keep your friend circle small and close. Not everyone is for you, and that’s okay as long as you know who you are and what you believe.

Stay true to you. I want you to celebrate your fierce independence, outspoken will, and dedication to justice. These qualities will serve you well in the future. Your independence will help you make bold decisions, being outspoken will give you a voice in important matters, and your dedication to justice will guide you in making fair choices. It feels inconvenient for people around you who want to keep you small. It is because of their insecurity and small ideas of how young women and girls should behave.

One of your most significant challenges will be believing in yourself. Your father will both feed and thrive on your insecurities, not out of malice, but from his unhealed wounds. Your strength threatens him, yet you will be the one to break this cycle of generational pain. You will be the one to chart a new path forward. Stay strong and trust your instincts — you’re exactly where you need to be. Trust the little voice in your head. It’s your higher self moving forward. Ignore the voices that drag you down.

You are brave, strong, and beautiful. You don’t look like everyone else, which makes your beauty unique. Stay true to your dreams, and don’t let anyone shake your confidence. You are brilliant, and one day, the world will know this. You will survive this and flourish.

Believe in the future that awaits you, Dianne. You will be a changemaker, an innovator, a disruptor, a culture shifter. You will build a beautiful family and lead a good life. All this is possible if you trust the process. The challenges you face now will only make you stronger. Your unique qualities and experiences will make you a successful and compassionate individual.

Trust in yourself and the journey you’re on.
Dianne

LETTER TO MY YOUNGER SELF: EDDIE STERN

LETTER TO MY YOUNGER SELF: EDDIE STERN

Letter to my younger self: Eddie Stern

PROFILES

BEN CLARK INTERVIEW

If you could write a letter to your younger self what would it say? We asked some amazing people in our community to write letters, and were blown away by the love, compassion and humor they shared in our Celebrating Age issue.

Dear Eddie,

I have only a few suggestions for you. Looking back on your life, well, ours, I guess, you’ve done some cool things, and had a few missteps. Since you are 18 and just getting started, watch out for these things:

1. Listen to your conscience and gut a little more than
I did. If something doesn’t feel right, turn the other way. I didn’t listen as well as I should have and ended up in situations that caused a lot of pain for myself and others. Sometimes things can’t be avoided, but I wonder where we would have ended up if we had listened more closely to my intuition in the moment.

2. Don’t start teaching yoga right away, like I did.
It’s true, you were asked to teach, but you also could have said no. Try saying no. Practice for a good 10 years or so, learn a little more, struggle a little more, and then after you’ve put in the inner work, start teaching. It will help with the troubles that arose in point 1.

3. Learn a second language right away,
Preferably an Indian language, since you are about to spend a lot of time in India. Don’t delay, and don’t lapse. Sanskrit doesn’t count, since we kept that up.

4. Not going to college was a great idea.
You’ll get a degree after 54, and there isn’t really anything between 18 and 54 that is going to demand that you need to have gone to college. All good.

5. Prioritize friends and family more than I did.
I got too caught up in work, and still am, to be honest. Don’t wait ‘til you’re almost 60 to do that. It’s time wasted. If you are diligent about a work schedule, work doesn’t ever need to become all-consuming.

6. Keep a journal.
You did for a while, then stopped. They are fun to look back on.

7. You’ve been great about physical health.
All good on food and exercise. But you ignore your emotions a little too much—get a therapist and figure some stuff out early on. We’ll be better for it when we get to my age.

8. If it hasn’t happened already, you’re going to have an apartment on Cornelia Street.
One night you’ll be lying in bed with your girlfriend, and she’s going to be challenging you on your looks—you had just dyed your hair black and green—and she said, “There’s no way you’re going to be dressing like this and doing your hair like this when you are 50.” And you are going to say, “Probably not, but that doesn’t matter. When I am 50, I am going to be the same, exact person I am right now; I might dress different, have different (or no, as it were) hair, but my awareness is going to be the same, and knowing who I am is going to be exactly the same as it is now. Only my appearance is going to change, but that is not me.” Guess what? This thought, one of our early, direct perceptions of witness consciousness, was 100% accurate. We are past 50. But the awareness of observer consciousness, the awareness that things change externally, but the inner being is constant, was the end of your yoga journey before we started actually doing yoga. When we did start to practice, it was just to learn things to remind us of that direct perception.

9. You’re not going to do this, but I’m going to tell you anyway:
never stop listening to punk rock, never let music not be your muse, and always let your heart be blown wide open by beauty and pain and sorrow in all of its forms.

10. When David Bowie tells you he’d like to do yoga with you, please follow up with him.
It’s going to happen, and you totally let fear get the best of you. Don’t!

11. Last but not least, please don’t use so much hairspray.
It’s bad for the environment, and it’s most likely (along with the hair bleach) going to make you go bald. Save the environment, save your hair. It’s not a vanity thing—you are actually going to be a lot warmer in the winter and conserve heat.

Love you, homie,

Eddie

Letter to my Younger Self

Letter to my Younger Self

Letter to my Younger Self

By Steven G. Medeiros
Photo: Robert Sturman

PROFILES

Steven Young yoga on the beach at sundown

Dear Steven,
While this letter is not intended to shield you from life’s adversities, it will hopefully provide you with some level of comfort, despite how bleak things may seem at the moment.

Your mother’s death will have a profound effect on you for years to come, forcing you to grapple with the questions of life early on and the legacy your parents have left you. Don’t fret, your path has not been written. At this young age, you have yet to fully conceptualize this idea of choice and the role it will play in your life.

You will learn many of life’s lessons the hard way. However, it will be to your amazement that your tribulations will inspire potential in others. Lean into those opportunities to connect with others for your gifts were not meant for you alone.

Forgiveness will play a critical role in your ability to heal and move forward in life. It will be nothing short of transformative. It will allow you to be free from the burdens of your past—enabling you to live freely in the present. What will soon follow is this unwavering awareness of self and others. This awareness will become your motivation to want and strive for better; to want and create a legacy far different than the one your parents have left you.

Listen carefully: do not let fear preclude you from sharing your light and love with the world. Learn to embrace vulnerability and to use the time you have been gifted with intentionality. Your intuition is strong, pay attention to it, it will serve you well. Find people and activities that help to ground and nurture your spirit.

Steven, know that you are more than the sum of your past mistakes, but remember to always stay rooted to where you come from.

The totality of your earlier lived experiences is the bedrock of who you are today and will continually inform your interests, the person you aspire to be, and how and where you invest your time and energy.

The adversity you endure will reveal to you your capabilities, your strengths, and your fullest potential. You will defy the odds and challenge the status quo, a testament that one’s plight can be altered—with the motivation and desire to seek change—and the humility to never forget what it took to get there.

Me Ke Aloha (With Love),

Your Older Self

Steven Young youth photo