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LETTER TO MY YOUNGER SELF: JIVANA HEYMAN

LETTER TO MY YOUNGER SELF: JIVANA HEYMAN

Letter to my younger self: Jivana Heyman

photo: SaritRodgers

PROFILES

BEN CLARK INTERVIEW

If you could write a letter to your younger self what would it say? We asked some amazing people in our community to write letters, and were blown away by the love, compassion and humor they shared. Jivana Heyman shares his letter here.

Dear Jivana,

Sending you love and support for your journey ahead. I know there will be challenging times, but you’ll find your way through. You have more strength than you realize. In fact, your biggest weakness is your self-doubt. The sooner you let it go, the more you’ll enjoy life, and the more service you’ll be able to offer the world. Embrace your queerness as quickly as you can, and as fully as possible. Being queer is a gift, not a curse.

Your youthful idealism is a strength, not a weakness. Keep on imagining a world full of peace and justice, even if they constantly tell you that you’re naive. In the end, the love and care you have for other people and for nature is all that really matters. Love your friends, family, and pets even more, but don’t become too attached at the same time. Nothing is permanent, and many of them will leave you, and many will die. 

Keep practicing yoga and meditation with your full heart, and start teaching as soon as you can. Don’t get stuck in imposter syndrome and wait so long to share the practice you love with your community. It’s a great way to deepen your practice and be of service simultaneously. (In fact, we’re going on 30 years of teaching in 2025!) Teaching yoga is the biggest gift you’ll receive. Appreciate it for what it is, and recognize the awesome power and responsibility that it brings. 

Remember that ethics are the heart of spirituality. They’ll protect you and keep you on the right track. In fact, the yamas, yoga’s ethical principles, are the protection that you need to navigate the challenges that life will continue to throw at you. They are like a shield to help keep you safe when things feel dangerous.

That reminds me–work on your boundaries! They are the key to everything. Love everyone, but don’t fall in love with everyone. Be open and welcoming, but don’t let people trample all over you. In fact, that’s my main message. Find a way to believe in yourself that is stable and grounded. I don’t mean that you should become egotistical; instead, feel your strength in your mind and body, and know that it’s a reflection of your spirit, which is shared with all beings. Allow your strength to be a vehicle for connection with others, rather than separation. 

In general, people are good, but that doesn’t mean you have to listen to them. Instead, listen to that small voice in your heart and don’t ever stop listening. Remember, meditation is the language of that voice, so the more you practice, the easier it will be to understand the messages that are coming from deep within you. Like sonar echoing in the deepest ocean, meditation will help you navigate the dark, treacherous waters of the world. 

You’ve got this!

Love,

Jivana

LETTER TO MY YOUNGER SELF: DIANNE BONDY

LETTER TO MY YOUNGER SELF: DIANNE BONDY

Letter to my younger self: Dianne Bondy

PROFILES

BEN CLARK INTERVIEW

If you could write a letter to your younger self what would it say? We asked these amazing people in our community to write letters, and were blown away by the love, compassion and humor they shared. Dianne Bondy shares her letter here.

Dearest Dianne,

It’s me, your older self. I LOVE YOU. I want to tell you something important. If everything seems overwhelming, I assure you that childhood is just a phase, a small part of your entire existence. I know it’s tough; you might feel small, awkward, and unseen. But your uniqueness is what makes you special. School is temporary, and it’s okay to feel this way. It’s just a tiny part of your journey.

I know no one looks like you at school or in your friend circle, and it makes you feel ugly. But you are not ugly; you are beautiful. Societal beauty standards are ugly. Authenticity is what makes people beautiful.

People will make fun of and underestimate you based on their insecurity. Kids are cruel. I know school is hard. You will learn later in life your grades don’t reflect your intelligence. You are not stupid. You learn differently. You have a learning limitation that is not yet diagnosed or known. You will overcome it. You will learn to manage it. You will teach yourself. The teacher in 12th grade who told you that you were illiterate will eat those words when you write two best-selling books. Yes, you will become a writer and published author. Yes, you, the one with the bad grades. School is a limiting force for you. You need to get through it.

Ignore the bullies. With all its challenges, high school is just a temporary phase in your life. It is meant to teach you important lessons. One of the most important is to choose your friends carefully, observe how people treat you, and keep your friend circle small and close. Not everyone is for you, and that’s okay as long as you know who you are and what you believe.

Stay true to you. I want you to celebrate your fierce independence, outspoken will, and dedication to justice. These qualities will serve you well in the future. Your independence will help you make bold decisions, being outspoken will give you a voice in important matters, and your dedication to justice will guide you in making fair choices. It feels inconvenient for people around you who want to keep you small. It is because of their insecurity and small ideas of how young women and girls should behave.

One of your most significant challenges will be believing in yourself. Your father will both feed and thrive on your insecurities, not out of malice, but from his unhealed wounds. Your strength threatens him, yet you will be the one to break this cycle of generational pain. You will be the one to chart a new path forward. Stay strong and trust your instincts — you’re exactly where you need to be. Trust the little voice in your head. It’s your higher self moving forward. Ignore the voices that drag you down.

You are brave, strong, and beautiful. You don’t look like everyone else, which makes your beauty unique. Stay true to your dreams, and don’t let anyone shake your confidence. You are brilliant, and one day, the world will know this. You will survive this and flourish.

Believe in the future that awaits you, Dianne. You will be a changemaker, an innovator, a disruptor, a culture shifter. You will build a beautiful family and lead a good life. All this is possible if you trust the process. The challenges you face now will only make you stronger. Your unique qualities and experiences will make you a successful and compassionate individual.

Trust in yourself and the journey you’re on.
Dianne

THE M FACTOR

THE M FACTOR

THE M FACTOR


By: LouLou Piscatore
Photo by: Jenny Sherman

PROFILES

BEN CLARK INTERVIEW

Tamsen Fadal is rewriting the narrative for women in midlife. After more than 30 years as a news anchor, she made the decision to pivot her career to focus on all things menopause. She co-produced the documentary, “The M Factor: Shredding the Silence on Menopause,” which premiered on PBS in October. She also wrote the book, How to Menopause: Take Charge of Your Health, Reclaim Your Life, and Feel Even Better than Before. Her goal is to eliminate the stigma of menopause and foster an environment where women feel comfortable discussing their midlife transition. From the boardroom to the doctor’s office, Tamsen advocates for a world where women can manage their lives with confidence, no matter their age.

Tell us about what drove you to be a menopause advocate?
One night while I was reading the news, I was blindsided by heart palpitations, brain fog, and symptoms I later learned were part of an epic hot flash. For the first time in decades, I didn’t finish the newscast. It turns out I was in menopause, and it started me on a journey to understand what was happening. I was shocked by the lack of open conversation and resources available to women. I became a menopause advocate after experiencing the complexities of menopause myself and realizing how underserved this phase of life is in both society and healthcare.

Let’s talk about women’s health: how hard is it to get medical help with menopause symptoms?
It can be really challenging for many women to find the right medical help for menopause symptoms. There’s often a lack of awareness and understanding among healthcare providers about menopause, perimenopause, and the management of symptoms. Luckily, we are seeing more doctors seeking to understand it, and we are helping women not feel fear or shame when it comes to seeking help. There is no excuse for a woman being dismissed when she is trying to be treated.

Which kinds of practitioners do you find to be the most helpful? 
It would be ideal if all practitioners were educated about menopause, which is why I am so thrilled our documentary, The M Factor: Shredding the Silence on Menopause, has been accredited for continuing medical education (CME) credits. We need every type of provider to understand this, from gynecologists to endocrinologists to mental health professionals to holistic practitioners like dietitians and physical therapists, who can offer lifestyle advice to help manage symptoms.

You mention “34 symptoms of menopause,” what are some of the most surprising ones? 
Some of the surprising symptoms include changes in body odor, electric shock sensations, and a feeling of dread or doom. These less talked about symptoms often catch women off guard because they are not as widely recognized as hot flashes or night sweats.

What is the most common question you get asked about menopause? 
The most common question I get asked is, “Why don’t I feel like myself?” Many women are looking for reassurance that their menopause symptoms are a typical part of the transition and not something more serious. And that they are not alone.

You have said that “menopause is a transition, not a disease.” What advice would you offer someone navigating their own transition? 
I would advise women to embrace menopause as a natural part of life and focusing on self-care. This can include educating yourself about what to expect, seeking support from other women, and advocating for oneself in medical settings to ensure you receive the care you need. Plus, we can’t leave men out of the conversation — they must understand what we are dealing with and how to recognize the symptoms.

Research shows that women are generally happier post menopause, why do you think that is? 
Many women find a sense of freedom and relief after menopause. The challenges of menstrual cycles and fertility concerns are behind them, which can lead to a newfound sense of control over their bodies and lives.

Tell me a little about your book. 
How to Menopause is the expert-driven, girlfriend approved guide for women navigating this transition. It covers everything from understanding and managing symptoms to lifestyle changes and relationship advice. I interviewed 42 experts to get the resources and advice in the book, so women can learn to not just survive but thrive during menopause and beyond.

What do you think the future looks like for women’s health and menopause care? 
I’m optimistic about the future of women’s health and menopause care. With increased awareness and advocacy, we’re seeing more research, better healthcare solutions, and a growing number of resources dedicated to supporting women through menopause. Plus, we are seeing telehealth companies, such as Alloy Women’s Health, Midi Health, and Maven, reaching more women than ever before. I am excited to see it happening.

How do you feel that attitudes about menopause are changing? 
Attitudes toward menopause are definitely changing, becoming more open and informed. There’s a growing recognition that menopause is a significant life stage that deserves attention and care, not something to be whispered about or endured in silence. But we are nowhere near done making noise — this is not just a moment that menopause is having — this is a movement.

MONEY AT EVERY AGE

MONEY AT EVERY AGE

MONEY AT EVERY AGE


By: Shari Vilchez-Blatt

LIFESTYLE

PROFILES

BEN CLARK INTERVIEW

Did you know that women are statistically better at investing than men? Wouldn’t it be great if all women knew this and were able to build real generational wealth and craft their dream life?  

That’s what Official MoneyChick, Wendy Raizin, says and is empowering women with this knowledge.

Wendy is a former Wall Street Trader, current Chief Investment Officer, Owner of Commercial Real Estate Firm. She also has a luxury design business that keeps her creative juices flowing!  And now, co-creator of MoneyChick, an effort she’s been manifesting for years.  She’s passionate about educating women on the concepts of money, investing, being financially free, and giving them the power to get up and leave a job or a relationship whenever they want.  Because having your own money gives you boundless options. 

 

The theme of the issue is celebrating age, what are key things people can realistically do at each phase of life? What should a person be doing in their 30’s? 40’s? 50s?

In your 20’s-30’s 

  • Budget Analysis- make sure you know to a very close number the exact amount of money you spend each month and on what. Make a spreadsheet to track expenses or, if the word spreadsheet makes you queasy, just make a simple list. Include even the unexpected expenses like gifts or car repair, home maintenance, as well as the more obvious monthly payments like rent, mortgage, car, loans, and entertainment.
  • Establish Career Optional Income Strategy- If your job were to be gone tomorrow, what is your plan of action? In addition to that, even if your job is perfectly secure, what is your plan to switch lanes if you need or want to in the future?
  • Student Loan Review- if you have student loans, make sure you are aware of which banks, credit unions or government institutions they are with and how much you are paying in interest. Make sure you are up to date on these loans, including deadlines and payment schedules.
  • Retirement Plan options- hopefully, you are maxing out your 401K if your employer offers one, especially if they offer a match. If possible, you’ll also want to open a Roth IRA if you haven’t already done so. Try to put the maximum allowance into this account each year, $7,000 if you’re under 50 years old; $8,000 if you are over 50.
  • Education Fund Planning for Kids- If you are starting a family or thinking about starting one, you’ll want to educate yourself about available education savings plans in your state. Some states offer a prepaid savings plan for the state colleges, or you can consider a 529 plan from the federal government, that allows you to save for your child’s education expenses tax- free.
  • Career Benefit and Compensation Review- make sure you are taking advantage of all the benefits your company has to offer and review your compensation package to make sure it is in line with industry standards. If not, it may be time to negotiate an upgrade.

In your 40’s-50’s

  • Integrate Financial Planning Strategies-If you have the luxury of a financial advisor, they will be able to help you with this. But, if you choose to manage your money on your own, educate yourself enough to be able to make an overall strategy for your current lifestyle, while keeping in mind any future plans and goals you’ll want to reach.
  • Tax and Trust Strategies- At this mid-life stage, you should be aware of how taxes affect your overall income and how you might set things up for the next generation. If a trust makes sense for your family assets, consult a qualified trust attorney to create one that’s right for you.
  • Conduct and insurance review- check on your insurance policies and make sure they are in good standing.
  • Optimize Savings and Retirement Plan- if you haven’t gotten the most out of these plans in your younger years, look into Catch-up contributions, which allow you to put even more money away tax-free if you are over 50.
  • Establish a Rollover Strategy- If you’ve left retirement accounts at a previous workplace, make sure you rollover to your current account. Do not liquidate (sell) these positions. Just roll them over to your new employer or personal account if you are self-employed.
In your 60’s

In your sixties, you want to start to think about things like funding your passion project or projects, retirement and continued catch-up provisions. Budget analysis also still plays a role here as you figure out new income levels, as well as new standards of living and costs as you age. You’ll want to do a Social Security review and add that into your budget.  This is also the time when you may want to start think about making a wealth transfer plan. If you have accumulated some wealth along the way, how will you preserve it and pass it down to your chosen recipients when you no longer need the money. Continued tax and trust strategies will prevail here as well. Finally, you’ll want to consider philanthropic giving, if that is something you’re in a position to do.

1. This is similar to the first question but more specific: There are many options out there that can be overwhelming, should a person in their 30’s be doing the same investing/savings strategy as a person retired in their 60s? (ie, 401K, CD’s etc.

Not necessarily. While we are constantly recalculating our budgetary needs at different stages of life, each stage requires a totally different money strategy. For instance, in our 20’s we can take on more risk because if an investment goes south, we have more time to make up that loss. As we get closer to retirement age, we cannot afford to take on as must risk with our investments. Usually, we’ve accumulated more money at this older stage and putting that ‘life savings’ in too aggressive of an investment would not be a wise move. In our 30’s we might be dealing with childcare expenses and during retirement years, we might need more of an income generating strategy.

2. Is it ever “too late” to start saving/investing?

Just like it’s never too late to start moving your body, it’s never too late to start investing. True, earlier is better, but being on top of your financial situation is part of a healthy lifestyle. Money stress is still Stress and it is not good for our overall health and well-being.

3. For someone who may have a lot of debt in their lives or is using savings to launch/sustain a small business, and feels like saving money is not feasible at this time. What advice would you give them?

This is a complex question because specifics of each person’s business, debt and responsibilities can vary greatly. I would definitely recommend  that if you are in some type of high interest debt   to get out of that as soon as humanly possible. If your debt is charging you 20% interest for example, just paying that off is like making 20% return on an investment. Debt will weigh you down both mentally and physically. Even if you can’t pay off the entire amount, you can chip away one chunk at a time. You may even be able to call your creditors and negotiate better terms because at the end of the day, they would rather have some money now that wait years to get paid back.

4. Best financial advice anyone ever gave you?

Live below your means.  It still holds true. I started investing when I was 16 and someone told me then: Don’t think about what you might make, instead make sure you’ll be ok with what you might lose.

THE BIG QUESTION (one of the most popular):

Ways to start preparing for your future using only $500 (or whatever amount you think is best, I find a big issue is people think they can only start investing or thinking about future finances if they have a ton of money.

I want people to know that they don’t need a windfall of money to start. Even just $50-$100/month is better than nothing. It’s the habit that’s important. Think of your saving/investing habit like a muscle you need to strengthen and flex through practice. Get in the habit of putting away a percentage of your earnings every time. The more you do this, the more natural and automatic it will feel to you. Tiny fragments of investments add up over time like grains of rice. Before you know it, you have a decent amount to work with.

Having said that, I would not recommend risking your hard-earned money on risky investments that you don’t know a lot about. Start with an index fund like SPY, SPYG or VOO. These index funds track the biggest stocks in the market and allow you to participate in the big players without having to invest in individual stocks, which can be a bit riskier.The most important step is the first one. Don’t wait til you have a ton of money lying around. “I have so much extra money, I don’t know what to do with it”…said no one ever!

JILL MILLER INTERVIEW

JILL MILLER INTERVIEW

JILL MILLER INTERVIEW

By: Lauren Cap
Photos: Tune Up Fitness Worldwide
YOGA
Editors note: This article contains references to disordered eating.
In early 2013, I signed up for Jill Miller’s Yoga Tune Up® teacher training as a new yoga teacher looking to learn more about the body. This training, and many of the others under Tune Up Fitness, surpassed any curiosity I had about anatomy, fascia and movement.Now in my 40’s, interviewing Jill for this Celebrating Age themed issue, felt like perfect timing.

Jill Miller, C-IAYT, is a fascia expert, cofounder of Tune Up Fitness Worldwide Inc. and bestselling author of Body by Breath and The Roll Model. Here, she shares her thoughts on aging and how her life experiences shaped the course of the work she teaches today.

This issue is themed “Celebrating Age.” What are ways you celebrate your age?
I remind myself of all of the wisdom that has accumulated, which gives me perspective and it also has dampened a painful and unquenchable desire to strive. I think that striving is something that is definitely baked into our culture. (Not that I’m not continuing to want to strive or strive towards excellence or be the best that I can be.) It’s given me the ability to have gracious reflection, perspective, and it’s deepened my appreciation of love.

I also recognize that I’m not the baby anymore, and the benevolent responsibility as a human citizen to share with younger people and share with others. That has been a really delicious part of aging—realizing that people look up to me. Parenting has taught me a lot of that, but also being a business owner and a teacher of teachers has taught me that. You don’t age in isolation. You age in community, and you age in relationship to all these other age groups.

Can you tell us a little about the evolution of your yoga practice and how it brought you to Tune Up Fitness?
I started practicing yoga when I was around 11 or 12. My mom had brought home the Jane Fonda Workout video and the Raquel Welch yoga tape. We lived off-the-grid in a solar home outside of Santa Fe, New Mexico, so we didn’t have a television. These videos lit me up, and I became obsessed with them. What happened over the next 8 or 9 years of my life was a spiral of disordered eating, orthorexia, and using yoga as a way to regulate my nervous system. There was a certain point in college where I knew that my bulimia was absolutely not going away, and I needed help.

My roommate, who was pre-med, was taking the same pilates class as me. She would always be sore in her abs, and I was never sore. I had a feeling that the reason I was never sore was because I couldn’t feel my abs, and I was just bypassing them because I was bulimic. I had this disconnection from myself. So I confessed to my yoga teacher that I was bulimic, and that I felt numb in my abs. She showed me a prop that they use in the Iyengar space that looks like a hamburger bun stuffed with sand. She said, “put it on your belly and lay down and breathe into it.” It was absolute agony. But I finally felt. The pain that emerged connected the dots for me about what I was doing to myself with the bulimia. I started to wake up every morning and roll up a hand towel (which was a lot gentler than this bean bag) and I would lay on the towel and move it around my abdomen. What ended up happening was I was able to move beyond the bulimia. I attribute a lot of that in part to creating this connection from my guts, my heart, and my mind. The self-massage work has been instrumental for being able to locate myself and being able to locate my emotions. In the context of practice, I am practicing as safely as possible. But also while in myself and not bypassing myself or continuing to objectify myself the way I used to.

That’s an incredible story and very inspiring. I appreciate you sharing that. Can you explain to the reader what self-myofascial release is?
Self-myofascial release is using a tool to attempt to improve gliding motions between tissues, to improve overall mobility, eliminate pain, address muscle imbalances and improve one’s proprioception (the ability to know where you are in space). I use self-myofascial release to help people improve their embody map, which is that body’s sense of itself. This concretizing of your soma, your anatomy, so that you can be a better participant with what you intend with your movements. The self-myofascial release that I teach is called Roll Model Method®. I use soft, pliable rubber balls of different sizes to help people locate tissues, improve mobility, and transform pain. This is the work that I teach to clinicians, to sports and athletics communities, to the general population, people that don’t like yoga, people that love yoga. All sorts of people can benefit from self-myofascial release.

Because the science behind anatomy and movement changes so rapidly, how do you adjust your training and teaching to align with the new information? What are your thoughts on the people who challenge the effectiveness of rolling?
When people challenge the effectiveness, it’s really easy to counter because we have evidence. In the fascia research community, we’ve moved on from a lot of terms. For example, a lot of people get caught up in this term, “adhesions.” That’s really not frequently used anymore. We’ll hear people talk about agglomerations or lack of gliding or true visceral adhesions, but people don’t really talk about adhesions in a musculoskeletal way very often anymore. That is a term that I used to use because that’s what was used a decade ago. My book, The Roll Model, was written when that term was popular, but in the new book, Body By Breath, I have been able to update those terms and try to continue to evolve. Science is as much an art as it is a science, so we have to keep updating our terms and explain what we mean.

What is your recommendation for women over 40 who want to maintain longevity in their fitness routine and everyday life?
I am a manual movement medicine person! I believe (and the research shows) that load bearing exercise is so important for the aging body, especially with women over 40. The loss of estrogen is deleterious for every system of the body. However, you are working with the symptoms that come along with the disappearance of estrogen in your system, there is no good reason to not do load bearing exercise to continuously stress your muscles so that they stay healthy. We lose our fast twitch muscle fibers at a very fast rate as we age. We also lose our ability to generate power, which weakens the muscles and weakens the bones, so our connective tissues stiffen, and we are more likely to have ruptures and tears. It’s important to do load bearing exercise that is likely beyond yoga. Yoga is important for whole body motion as well as stability. It’s incredible as a mind-body exercise to enhance focus and induce the relaxation response.

The aging body also needs self-myofascial release. Self-massage can get into nooks and crannies of the body that, unbeknownst to you, aren’t being moved by your exercise. Therapy balls can create motion where motion is not occurring well and can also help you update your mind’s ability to connect to your tissues so you can get a more robust contraction. There’s really great evidence about rolling being able to improve a muscle’s ability to create torque or force generation as well as improving your body’s proprioception. Slips and falls are the highest leading cause of hip fractures, and hip fractures are the leading cause of death in aging bodies.

We want ankles that move well, and we want to have good reactive hips and strong bones in those hips, so if we do fall, we are less likely to fracture.

Is there anything else you like to share with the readers?
My newer book, Body by Breath is all about that journey through the gut to embodiment. What I realized when I started to teach these methods to other people is that I got lucky because I healed my eating disorder. But these were applications that ended up helping people with neck pain, with asthma, with chronic shoulder pain, and with low back pain. There were so many varieties of people that were helped by doing these types of gut, massage, rib cage massage applications, and now, I see it’s really quite an endless side-effect free application. The traction just blows me away. This simple thing. This sad little bulimic girl laying down in her dorm room trying to wrestle with what she was struggling with, but there is this universal application that is way beyond what I thought.


Learn more: tuneupfitness.com